The immortal Fiends series

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The immortal Fiends series

Post by Eardrum73 on Fri Mar 14, 2014 8:45 am

Who are these guys? I’ve heard of Achillies but who the hell is Lubu? Why does Diarmund have a dot on his face?
Are they real or fictional? If you are interested in the background behind these “Heroes of historical legend” (ahem) then read on.

This immortal fiends series, or as I like to call them “undead fiends” haha, since all them suffer tragic deaths before their time. (except maybe Beowulf, whos death isn’t exactly tragic and probably a good way to go given his old age)

Beowulf
He is the quintessential Nordic monster slaying hero. He is said to be strong, brave and a mighty warrior.
King Hrothgar has a problem with Grandel. It was never mentioned what Grandel really is but he is described as a large and strong humanoid monster of some sort. Grandel comes to Herot hall every night and kills many of the Kings men. King Hrothgar and his men try to fight Grendel but are not match for the monster.

Anyway Beowulf comes from across the seas and helps Horthgar to kill Grandel. Then he goes and Kills Grandel’s mother who was like an ugly hag. (Not sexy like Angelina Jolie in the movies) and then Beowulf returns to his home and becomes King of his people.

About 50 years after he kills Grandel’s mother, a slave steals a golden cup from a dragon’s lair. The dragon becomes really pissed off and starts to burn everything in sight.
Beowulf and his men rides out to fight the dragon, but Beowulf tells his men to wait outside while he battles the dragon alone.
He engages the dragon but finds that he is no match for the dragon. One of his men Wiglaf, seeing that Beowulf is in trouble goes in to help and together they slay the dragon (the rest of his men have fled). But Beowulf is mortally injured and dies as a result.  


Achilles
He is the central character in Homer’s Iliad. Out of all the heroes he is one of the most spoilt, arrogant and emotionally immature hero that I have come across.
When he was a baby his mother had him dipped into the river Styx which made him impervious to harm. All except for his heel. This made him practically invincible, and he became a peerless and arrogant warrior.

The story I am about to relate is more or less the famous version recounted in popular literature… keep in mind that with myths there are like a million versions and variations.

The story begins with Helen, (a superhot chick that every man desired) who was kidnapped by Paris, a prince of Troy. This becomes a serious problem because she was the wife of Menelaus, King of Sparta! (historical accounts had her aged around 12 or 13 when she was kidnapped lol)
Agamemnon king of the Greeks (a greedy bastard in his own right) uses this excuse to declare war on Troy so that he can add Troy to his list of conquest. It was said the walls of Troy can never be breach.
Undeterred, Agamemnon gathers a large army of Greeks to cross the Aegean sea and lay siege to the city of Troy.
Achilles, having one of his temper tantrums with Agamemnon decides not to take part in the war.
During the war, Hector (a prince of Troy) leads the Trojans and pushes the Greeks back to the beach.  It was at this time that Achilles’ homosexual lover, Pectroclus was killed by Hector (Some sources claim that Pectroclus was also Achilles’ cousin… yes, you can throw incest into this too, apparently all this stuff was very normal back in the day).

This put Achilles in a rage and he re-joins the war effort and turns the tide of battle for the Greeks. In his arrogance he challenges Hector at the gates of Troy to single combat.
Hector (being a honourable chap) accepts, they fight, both warriors go toe to toe for a while, however Achilles is protected and thus cannot be killed…..so there was really only one possible outcome. (duh!)
After Hector falls, Achilles does a dishonourable act by tying Hector to his chariot and rides away with his body. Achilles mutilates Hector’s body out of spite so that he cannot be given a proper burial and thus cannot make his way to the underworld. (A very important custom to the people of the Aegean at the time.)

It was only later that King Priam (King of Troy) disguised as a beggar, snuck in to the Greek encampment to beg Achilles to return Hector’s body to him so that he can farewell his son in a proper manner. Seeing a King on his knees Achilles relents and returns Hector’s body to his father.

The war resumes the next day and Troy (wisely) shuts its doors, the Greeks cannot breach the walls of Troy. The war becomes a stalemate of sorts.  The Greeks are at disadvantage because they are running out of supplies and morale amongst the soldiers was dangerously low (soldiers start to leave). Agamemnon would have to win this quickly or return to Greece in shame and defeat.

Enter a  Greek chap called Ulysses, he comes up with an crazy idea to build a large wooden horse, the horse is hollow inside and allows many Greek heroes to hide inside the horse. He then tells the remaining Greek soldiers to sail away, not too far, but far enough to give the Trojans an impression that the Greeks have given up and left.  
The Plan worked. The Trojans thinking that the Greeks have left the shores of Troy, pulled the wooden horse into the city (not so wisely) as a celebratory measure. The Trojans celebrate and many warriors get blind drunk. When night falls, the warriors inside the wooden horse sneak out to make short work of the sentries and subsequently open the gates of Troy for the encroaching Greek army.

Troy is sacked, its women raped and slaughtered, babies killed… all by means of  a wooden horse….
As for Achilles he was killed by Paris (brother of Hector)… who struck him with an arrow on his heel where he had no magical protection.

Diarmund
I must admit that out of the 5 characters this is the one I am least familiar with. There are several references in my private library that mention him but I have never paid much attention to his story.
So most of the stuff I post here are mostly just regurgitated material from the internet. I may edit this later when I next visit my Library.  
He is a hero from Irish folklore. As far as I know, he is not a real historical character. Diarmund has four magical weapons, two swords and two spears (a red spear and a yellow spear) this can be seen in the TOS card. The red spear was the more powerful one and the yellow spear he used for lesser adventures.  

After a day of sweaty hunting, Diarmund and his companions tries to makes love to a random girl (as you would) that they found in a random hut. But the girl only lets Diarmund “do” her.  As fate would have it, the young girl is a magical being and places a “love spot” on his face. Any woman who sees this loves spot will fall hopelessly in love with him. (Obviously she’s not the jealous type lol) You can actually see the spot on the evolved version of Diarmund’s card if you look closely enough.

In anycase, Diarmund who serves under Fionn (both as a friend and a vessel), elopes with Graine, his lord’s wife to be. Some say that it was the love spot that caused Graine to fall in love with Diarmund, but it is just as likely that Graine (a young girl) was not interested in marrying someone as old as her grandfather. Lol

Anyway they run away and Fionn chases the two lovebirds all over Ireland. After 16 years of pursuit, the two were encouraged to make up and Fionn grudgingly agrees.
A boar hunting expedition was organise and Diarmund was fatally injured by the boar. Fionn was there and could have save Diarmund by giving him some healing water. But instead, Fionn refuses to do it. Some say that he kept letting the water slip through his fingers and Diarmund eventually died as a result, while other sources claim that he flat out refuses at first and when he finally agreed to help Diarmund it was already too late. Either way Diarmund dies.  

Yoshitsune
He is considered by many to be the greatest samurai in Japanese history. In legend, he was said to be a superb warrior, a great military commander, honourable, virtuous, kind hearted, someone that would help old ladies cross the road and so on, (he’s basically your typical good guy) I’m sure you get the idea by now.

An emperor dies, and subsequently there is a dispute as to who should be the new Emperor. The Tiara clan managed to put their grandson in power as the Emperor. The prince (who believes he should have been the emperor) encourages the Minamoto clan (Yoshitsune’s clan) to revolt against the Tiara clan.
The prince is slain in battle early in the piece and this increases the tensions between the Minamoto’s and the Tiara.
After a series of battles Yoshitsune ultimately defeats the Tiara. The victorious Minamoto’s enthrones a new emperor. The new emperor grants the title of Shogun to Yoshitsune’s brother Yorimoto.

Relations began to sour between the two brothers and ultimately Yoshitsune joins forces with his uncle to rebel against his brother Yorimoto. The coup fails and Yoshitsune was forced to flee as his brother saw Yoshitsune’s actions as treasonous.  

Hunted by his brother’s soldiers, for several years Yoshitsune hid in the mountains south of Kyoto like a simple bandit and sometimes disguised as a monk until he eventually found shelter at a Northern lord’s province.
The Northern lord eventually dies and his son, terrified of Yoshitsune’s brother, betrays Yoshitsune by sending soldiers to surround him at his mansion. Unable to escape, Yoshitsune was forced to behead his wife and children before committing seppuku himself.    

Lubu
In the Romance of the Three kingdoms epic… there was no warlord as feared and or as revered as Lubu himself. He was said to possess near super human strength, superb horsemanship, a master archer and gifted with incomparable hand to hand fighting prowess.
A mere mentioned of his name was enough to cause the most ardent of warriors to shit themselves. He was not called “the invincible warrior” for nothing.
Even the combine might of the two central heroes of the epic (the fat, red-face protagonist who wields a pole-arm and his blood brother - the stocky, fat, hairy-faced warrior) could not defeat Lubu in combat.  

The story I am going to relate has more to do with the Epic and less to do with the actual historical personality.

Lu Bu was adopted into a noble family after he proved his worth on the battlefield. He was such a mighty warrior that the powerful warlord Dong Zhou offered him "Red Hare" (the fastest horse in all of China) but only if Lubu defected to his side.
Lu Bu flipped out, chopped off the head of his adopted father and defected over.  He hung out with the Donger for a while, mostly killing people and maintaining a tyrannical hold over much of China.

One day he decided that he wanted to get it on with Dong Zhou's maid, some hot chick named Diao Chan.  Dong Zhou found out about this and was like, "dude, WTF?" Being the treacherous bastard that he was, Lu Bu just turned Dong Zhou into meat paste.  

Lu Bu amassed a big army and started to wander around China killing everyone and anyone who looked at him funny.  

Ultimately it took a poisoning (or drugging) and the combine efforts of many warriors to take him down. He passed out from the effects of the drugs and got tied up by his own men while he was sleeping.  They were sick of him being such a jerkoff to everyone, and turned him over to a rival general named Cao Cao. He offered to join Cao Cao and to help Cao Cao beat the shit out of every other warlord in China, but Cao Cao (a smart cookie) wasn't buying it and subsequently had Lu Bu strangled to death.

Lu Bu was a sad case of a super badass who got totally jobbed in death. Until he got totally worked over by his own men though, he was the strongest, fastest and most invincible warrior in Chinese history.

Lubu blurb copied and slightly modified from “Badass of the week” only because I couldn’t have said it better myself lol.


Last edited by Eardrum73 on Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:25 pm; edited 7 times in total
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Re: The immortal Fiends series

Post by Kenna Kat on Fri Mar 14, 2014 10:04 am

It is said the Beowulf came from Geatland, a region now part of Sweden. I happened upon that bit of information when I was looking up things about Vikings.
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Re: The immortal Fiends series

Post by Eardrum73 on Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:00 am

Yes that is correct KK, Geatland basically translates to Goatland in English lol!
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Re: The immortal Fiends series

Post by DinneBolt on Fri Mar 14, 2014 1:47 pm

Shame on Lubu. If he has honorable attitude, like many warriors in that era, he would become the most famous and most respected among the Chinese warriors.
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Re: The immortal Fiends series

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